Komlarpnart is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful zebra.

Komlarpnart created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Komlarpnart, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Komlarpnart, she will turn you into a mole.

Komlarpnart's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Komlarpnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never handle lead while unclean.

3. Never paint your face turquoise.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Always take life seriously.