Cusspopcabmobyak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive beaver.

Cusspopcabmobyak created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusspopcabmobyak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cusspopcabmobyak, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cusspopcabmobyak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cusspopcabmobyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if four badgers approach from the west.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear cyan kilts on sacred days.

5. Never mention doves.