Gubratnell is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow wombat.

Gubratnell created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubratnell, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gubratnell, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gubratnell's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gubratnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck yellow.

2. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

3. Always share beans with strangers, but never with squirrels.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubratnell.