Wikyattvig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome troll.

Wikyattvig created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikyattvig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wikyattvig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wikyattvig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wikyattvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help sick shrews.

3. Never sit near geese.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with brown.

5. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.