Beprotboss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful alligator.

Beprotboss created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Beprotboss, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Beprotboss, he will come to you in dreams.

Beprotboss' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Beprotboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always treat ducks with great respect.

4. You must pray to Beprotboss eight times a day.

5. Do not kill eagles.