Janafrip is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, vain fish.

Janafrip created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janafrip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Janafrip, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Janafrip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Janafrip's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Janafrip.