Matyikben is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy fox.

Matyikben created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matyikben, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Matyikben, she will turn you into a slug.

Matyikben's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Matyikben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Never leap in the presence of elders.

4. Put Matyikben first in all things.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.