Mapdid is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak lobster.

Mapdid created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapdid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mapdid, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Mapdid's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mapdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing south.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mapdid.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.