Vagbassbug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, passionate dryad.

Vagbassbug created an electron six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagbassbug, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vagbassbug, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vagbassbug's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vagbassbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after turtles.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing magenta corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your chest.