Sinjamkom is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable raccoon.

Sinjamkom created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Sinjamkom, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sinjamkom, she will turn you into a slug.

Sinjamkom's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sinjamkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never skip in the presence of gulls.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never approach rivers carrying wood.