Tettimotgar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, wise octopus.

Tettimotgar created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettimotgar, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettimotgar, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tettimotgar's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tettimotgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Feed all hungry bats.

5. Always obey Tettimotgar's priests.