Pagloophun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, prudent penguin.

Pagloophun created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagloophun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pagloophun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Pagloophun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pagloophun's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Never feed lentils to cats while wearing black dresses.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never touch oil while unclean.