Hugfarnflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous crab.

Hugfarnflan created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Hugfarnflan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hugfarnflan, he will cry a lot.

Hugfarnflan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hugfarnflan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about optics near swans while wearing green jumpers and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.