Gutyokdamleg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient cow.

Gutyokdamleg created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Gutyokdamleg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gutyokdamleg, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gutyokdamleg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gutyokdamleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before touching lead.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Always treat manatees with great respect.