Vagteenkan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, strong donkey.

Vagteenkan created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagteenkan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vagteenkan, it will refuse to believe in you.

Vagteenkan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vagteenkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with violet.

2. Never talk about gravity near nematodes while wearing pink rings.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Always obey Vagteenkan's priests.