Artcunkop is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able fox.

Artcunkop created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Artcunkop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Artcunkop, he will turn you into a mole.

Artcunkop's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Artcunkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

2. Always store lemons above ground.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never eat carrots.