Ortdonten Kadhugwat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy dugong.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat created the Sunflower Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortdonten Kadhugwat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ortdonten Kadhugwat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never allow manatees to witness sacred rites.