Armdamvon is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, awesome jackal.

Armdamvon created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armdamvon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Armdamvon, it will turn you into a slug.

Armdamvon's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Armdamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near capybaras while wearing gray dresses and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

2. Do not name children after monkeys.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never cross crossroads at midnight.