Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent penguin.

Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Ganbasthitcissdanpaklib's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs white.

2. Always remove ear rings before touching iron.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never gather five pigs in one place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.