Rapquimquart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tiresome sheep.

Rapquimquart created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapquimquart, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rapquimquart, he will turn you into a slug.

Rapquimquart's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Rapquimquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with purple.

5. Never allow dogs to witness sacred rites.