Quatbassortgeb Legnib is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful goose.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbassortgeb Legnib, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatbassortgeb Legnib, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Quatbassortgeb Legnib in the centre of the settlement.