Flappodtomtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, capable warg.

Flappodtomtig created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flappodtomtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flappodtomtig, he will come to you in dreams.

Flappodtomtig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flappodtomtig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flappodtomtig nine times a day.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never run in spring.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with joy.