Hivnarlwad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unjust hippopotamus.

Hivnarlwad created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivnarlwad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hivnarlwad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hivnarlwad's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Hivnarlwad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always wash your head before prayer.

5. Always look after injured goats.