Lapwabcepcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring hippopotamus.

Lapwabcepcuss created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapwabcepcuss, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lapwabcepcuss, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lapwabcepcuss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lapwabcepcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four mice approach from the east.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing jumpers.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Always obey Lapwabcepcuss' priests.