Dinbestbed is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, conceited swan.

Dinbestbed created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinbestbed, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dinbestbed, she will send minions to preach to you.

Dinbestbed's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dinbestbed's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dinbestbed.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide if seven doves approach from the north.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.