Fetmapnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, resourceful crane.

Fetmapnurt created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetmapnurt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetmapnurt, it will come to you in dreams.

Fetmapnurt's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fetmapnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Fetmapnurt on top of important buildings.

2. Do not prepare nuts while filled with fear.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

5. Do not kill horses.