Homlanwapmitwipkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witless hummingbird.

Homlanwapmitwipkik created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homlanwapmitwipkik, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Homlanwapmitwipkik, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Homlanwapmitwipkik's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Homlanwapmitwipkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Run away from brown snails, for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Homlanwapmitwipkik loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.