Figvadbog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking salamander.

Figvadbog created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figvadbog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Figvadbog, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Figvadbog's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Figvadbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of snails.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Worship no other gods but Figvadbog.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.