Tintailyim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful toad.

Tintailyim created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tintailyim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tintailyim, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tintailyim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tintailyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Never adorn your arms with green markings.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Tintailyim loves snakes, so they must be respected.