Quammisnarlid is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited pigeon.

Quammisnarlid created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quammisnarlid, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quammisnarlid, he will make you grow a tail.

Quammisnarlid's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quammisnarlid's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not place spinach upon stone.

3. Never touch ash while clean.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quammisnarlid.

5. Do not chop down trees.