Flagkipmotnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent slug.

Flagkipmotnarl created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagkipmotnarl, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flagkipmotnarl, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flagkipmotnarl's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flagkipmotnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve stockings on sacred days.

2. Never feed limes to turtles while wearing tights.

3. Hide from red seals for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Flagkipmotnarl on top of all buildings.