Figsakpas is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable lizard.

Figsakpas created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figsakpas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Figsakpas, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Figsakpas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Figsakpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never sing in autumn.

4. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing white shoes and balancing three carbon spheres on your legs.

5. Never write about gravity.