Labtamgud is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, proud tortoise.

Labtamgud created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labtamgud, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Labtamgud, it will be very sad.

Labtamgud's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Labtamgud's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.