Bitgunduss Lipfungen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, conceited wren.

Bitgunduss Lipfungen created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgunduss Lipfungen, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bitgunduss Lipfungen, he will turn you into a rat.

Bitgunduss Lipfungen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bitgunduss Lipfungen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

2. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

3. Never cross forests at dusk.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never feed beans to ants while wearing hats.