Haphivpom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-powerful capybara.

Haphivpom created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Haphivpom, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Haphivpom, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Haphivpom's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Haphivpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.