Tapdusslag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, overgenerous walrus.

Tapdusslag created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapdusslag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapdusslag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tapdusslag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tapdusslag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Always wear black.

5. Never talk about fire.