Gedmilcar Camcinwap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, annoying elephant.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Gedmilcar Camcinwap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gedmilcar Camcinwap, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed tomatoes to whales while wearing green kilts.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with fear.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.