Bodnurtbag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, flying crocodile.

Bodnurtbag created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Bodnurtbag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bodnurtbag, she will be very sad.

Bodnurtbag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bodnurtbag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bodnurtbag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bodnurtbag.