Tifnulman is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tranquil sheep.

Tifnulman created oxygen twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifnulman, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifnulman, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tifnulman's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tifnulman's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare turnips during autumn.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. You must never eat pineapples.