Flamwipquag Titfudnar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful scorpion.

Flamwipquag Titfudnar created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Flamwipquag Titfudnar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flamwipquag Titfudnar, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flamwipquag Titfudnar's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Flamwipquag Titfudnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always obey Flamwipquag Titfudnar's priests.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Never pour water over plants.