Nutjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, blissful swan.

Nutjab created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutjab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nutjab, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nutjab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Nutjab's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not wear hats marked with green.

5. Do not resist order.