Sogsakkar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered mongoose.

Sogsakkar created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Sogsakkar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sogsakkar, she will send you a sign.

Sogsakkar's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Sogsakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. Do not name children after tortoises.

3. Always share peas with strangers, but never with dogs.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.