Omttikcat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful bear.

Omttikcat created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omttikcat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Omttikcat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Omttikcat's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Omttikcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing north.

2. Never sprint in the presence of whales.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.