Ligpomyart is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, compassionate crab.

Ligpomyart created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligpomyart, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ligpomyart, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ligpomyart's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ligpomyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to moths while wearing shoes.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear shorts.