Gartafhub is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid shrew.

Gartafhub created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gartafhub, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gartafhub, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gartafhub's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gartafhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record signs concerning comets.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing three copper spheres on your feet.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not name children after voles.