Larppogyak is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, thoughtless dryad.

Larppogyak created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Larppogyak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larppogyak, it will turn you into a snail.

Larppogyak's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Larppogyak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Larppogyak first in all things.

2. Do not prepare lentils while filled with anger.

3. Do not wear kilts marked with pink.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.