Tailpomnell is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fussy wolf.

Tailpomnell created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailpomnell, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailpomnell, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tailpomnell's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tailpomnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place garlic upon stone.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Respect your elders.