Fotbegdap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fotbegdap created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotbegdap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fotbegdap, she will destroy your home planet.

Fotbegdap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fotbegdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always act with purity.