Larntafgam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, irritating cow.

Larntafgam created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larntafgam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larntafgam, it will try to impress you with trees.

Larntafgam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Larntafgam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.