Bestliptab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, staggering manatee.

Bestliptab created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bestliptab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestliptab, he will not care at all.

Bestliptab's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bestliptab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix limes with water.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Bestliptab on top of important buildings.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.